i think my tv is drunk
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
