I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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