While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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