I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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