Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
