Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
