Say something about gay babies.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
