I want to have your abortion
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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