Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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