this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sorry about my life...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
