we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
