YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i out mim tonsoeep
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