So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
