But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
