Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
