I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
