I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
