he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
