Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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