we have officially lost it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
