you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
vagina is talking i cant
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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