My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
