no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
