so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
