Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
