I must be too annoying 4 u.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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