Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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