Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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