Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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