Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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