Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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