you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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