Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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