I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
