she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
