Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
