READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
