Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
