I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
