I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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