Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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