Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We got so high we made milksteak
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
