Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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