Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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