I bet he comes in French.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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