I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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