I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
