just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
