This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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