i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
