i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
two words...techno handjob
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
