she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
