Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
