The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
